Movies

Screen Invasion’s Worst Movies of 2012

Here are the Worst Movies of 2012 according to Screen Invasion writers. The Oscar nominations may have come out today, but the Razzie nominations were announced yesterday.  We at ScreenInvasion.com however had our own picks for worst movie of the year.  Take a look!

vhsCat Edison  — V/H/S
V/H/S is hands-down the worst movie I saw this year.  This was the first movie that I have ever gotten so sick to my stomach that I had to turn it off before it ended.  To be clear, I don’t think the motion of the camera (which was excessive to the point of drastically taking away from each story) or the gore factor had much, if anything to do with my upset stomach.  I attribute it more to the acting and execution of each story, in particular “Tuesday the 17th” camping story, which was the point at which I just gave up completely.  (The only feature that I had any real interest in was “Amateur Night” due to the interesting nuances of a monster with low self esteem).

For the record I didn’t think V/H/S was that awful, but you can read other reviews of it here and here.

XXX TAKEN-2-MOV-886.JPG A ENTJ.C. De Leon — Taken 2
“Listen to me carefully, Kim. Your mother; is going to be taken. And people are gonna come for you to.”

Easily my biggest disappointment of the year.  I love Taken, and the laziness of this film hurt my feelings a little bit.  It didn’t make me angry, just hurt my feelings.  So.  Damned.  Lazy.

jeff1Eric Ambler  — Jeff Who Lives at Home
Despite a stellar cast (Jason Segel, Ed Helms, Susan Sarandon, Judy Greer), Jeff Who Lives at Home is undoubtedly the worst film of 2012, an irritating, callow mess of indie clichés and spiritual hokum from Jay and Mark Duplass.  It isn’t just that mumbly man-child Segel is portrayed as a beatific font of wisdom, schooling the uptight squares in the workaday world.  It isn’t just that Helms is a one-dimensional a-hole who buys a fancy sports car without consulting his wife (spoiler: she doesn’t like it!).  It isn’t just that Sarandon is forced to act like an idiot to sell an extremely obvious “twist.”  No, it’s that this is an “everything happens for a reason” movie, meaning that it’s about 80 minutes of wildly coincidental nonsense before a frustratingly pat conclusion.  You can practically smell the self-satisfaction.

Read Eric’s full review here (your worst pick of the year and you still gave it two stars, Eric?)Jim seemed to like it though…

Screen shot 2013-01-10 at 6.25.58 PMKristal Bailey — The Raven
As an Edgar Allen Poe fan, I was excited to hear the premise of The Raven when it was first announced.  Plus, I like John Cusack well enough and figured he could do a good job bringing the man to the screen.  All the elements of this sounded like a great film to me, but when it all came together…nothing worked.  Not scary enough to be a good thriller, not bad enough to make it a fun watch.  This is probably the only movie I can think of from the past decade that would have been markedly better if Nicolas Cage was in the lead.  He would have gone full crazy when the character called for it, instead of the kind of bland, dead-behind-the-eyes acting we got from Cusack.  Such a waste of an excellent premise.

Full review here.

jp4uQV79C1WzAaVjW5hRTu1iSxdBrian Rudloff — The Devil Inside
This fake documentary is so stupid and pointless and unscary that I’m ashamed for even mentioning its name.

 

 

 

120816_Movies_CosmopolisStill.jpg.CROP.rectangle3-largeLuke Burnett — Cosmopolis
I sat through Cosmopolis so you don’t have to.  At one point a character in the film, talking about a play she has seen, says, “The audience was sparse and after 5 minutes I realized why.”  At the screening of Cosmopolis that I saw there were three people in the audience of which my girlfriend and I were two.  The third person walked out after an hour.  This is easily one of the worst films I have seen in a very long time, almost painful to watch.  I wanted to leave, I squirmed in my seat, staring blankly at the sides of the screens or the popcorn speckled floor making for a more enjoyable way to spend 90 minutes.

Full review here.

ghost-rider-spirit-of-vengeance-4Jim Napier — Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
If you have not seen this movie yet, avoid it with all costs.  I pride myself on being a movie enthusiast, and always trying to find something redeeming out of every movie.  Neveldine and Taylor can pat themselves on the back for directing the very worst Marvel comic adaptation.  The plot was laughable, and the editing seems to have been done by a 4-year old.  I have nothing good to say about this movie.

lily_collins_in_mirror_mirror-wideSean Davis — Mirror Mirror
Snow White was in the zeitgeist this year, but unfortunately neither Mirror Mirror nor Snow White and the Huntsman lived up to the classic fairy tale’s full potential.  And Mirror Mirror was by far the worse of the two, being bad on a near offensive level.  Even Sean Bean could barely hide his disgust during the closing musical sequence.  Mirror Mirror never really knows whether it wants to be a classic telling of the beloved story, or a revisionist take.  Is it from the evil queen’s perspective?  No–then why is she narrating?  If it is, then why is she comically awful, never once garnering any sort of empathy.  I could go on, but it’s best if we all just try and forget.

I’m inclined to agree with Sean, but Kristal liked it!

red-dawn-reviewDaniel Johnson — Red Dawn
There were a lot of bad films this year, but Red Dawn gets my pick not only for being terrible, but also for being the exact opposite type of movie Hollywood needs to be making right now.  A remake of a (let’s be honest) sub-par ’80s movie could have been a little ballsy if it went with its original premise that China was now invading, but instead the producers chickened out and switched the villains to North Korea at the last minute, ironically because they were worried about how the film would play in Chinese markets.  Not only is it ludicrous that North Korea could invade a country as large as the United States, but it further supports the backward “all Asians look alike” mentality that plagues this racist and paranoid film.  At some point I expected the teenage characters to start shouting, “Come on guys, let’s kill the gooks!”
Also, there has been a lot of talk about the glorification of gunplay in Hollywood thanks to the recent wave of school violence in the news, and while I think most of it is blown out of proportion it’s movies like Red Dawn that I really do find offensive since it’s portrayed as cool and even patriotic that these teenagers are running around blowing away Koreans left and right.  I do love a dumb action movie, and it’s possible some of this may have been forgivable of Red Dawn had any dynamic and exciting set pieces, but it failed here too.  Let’s hope Red Dawn’s shoddy box office caused MGM to realize these sorts of outdated remakes ought to be put into turnaround immediately.
Interestingly, Chris Hemsworth wound up being in my favorite (Cabin in the Woods) and least favorite movie of the year, in addition to the highest-grossing (The Avengers)!

Take a look at our picks for BEST movie of the year here!  And see the full list of Razzie nominations below:

Worst Picture:
Battleship
The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure
That’s My Boy
A Thousand Words
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 2

Worst Actress in a Leading Role:
Katherine Heigl – One for the Money
Milla Jovovich – Resident Evil: Retribution
Tyler Perry – Madea’s Witness Protection
Kristen Stewart – Snow White and the Huntsman and The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 2
Barbra Streisand – The Guilt Trip

Worst Actor in a Leading Role:
Nicolas Cage – Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance and Seeking Justice
Eddie Murphy – A Thousand Words
Robert Pattinson – The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 2
Tyler Perry – Alex Cross and Good Deeds
Adam Sandler – That’s My Boy

Worst Screen Couple:
Any combination of two cast members from “Jersey Shore” in The Three Stooges
Mackenzie Foy as Little Renesmee and Taylor Lautner in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 2
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 2
Tyler Perry and his drag get-up in Madea’s Witness Protection
Adam Sandler and either Andy Samberg, Leighton Meester, or Susan Sarandon in That’s My Boy

Worst Supporting Actress:
Jessica Biel – Playing for Keeps and Total Recall
Brooklyn Decker – Battleship and What to Expect When You’re Expecting
Ashley Greene – The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 2
Jennifer Lopez – What to Expect When You’re Expecting
Rihanna – Battleship

Worst Supporting Actor:
David Hasselhoff – Piranha 3DD
Taylor Lautner – The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 2
Liam Neeson – Battleship and Wrath of the Titans
Nick Swarsdon – That’s My Boy
Vanilla Ice – That’s My Boy

Worst Screen Ensemble:
Battleship
The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure
That’s My Boy
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 2
Madea’s Witness Protection

Worst Screenplay:
Atlas Shrugged: Part II
Battleship
That’s My Boy
A Thousand Words
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 2

Worst Remake, Rip-off, or Sequel:
Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance
Piranha 3DD
Red Dawn
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 2
Madea’s Witness Protection

Worst Director:
Sean Anders – That’s My Boy
Peter Berg – Battleship
Bill Condon – The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 2
Tyler Perry – Good Deeds and Madea’s Witness Protection
John Putch – Atlas Shrugged: Part II

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The Author

Daniel Johnson

Daniel Johnson

Daniel Johnson grew up in Santa Barbara, CA. Son of an archaeologist, he spent his childhood years developing a fondness of nature and the outdoors, which was rivaled only for his love of filmmaking and storytelling.
In 2008 he graduated from the University of Southern California's film program, and currently makes a living as an editor in addition to working on his own creative projects.
He has a weakness for redheads, seafood pasta, and dinosaurs.